Sung to Scotland the Brave
Given to me by Molly Paigen. (If anyone knows who wrote it, please let us me know,
Molly has forgotten who the author was and I like to give credit where credit is due)
When you were two or three
Your mommy would always see
That you had a party on your birthday
But now you’re older and more mature
At least we are pretty sure
And shouldn’t be treated like a baby.
‘Cuz no one gives a shit about your birthday any more,
No! It’s not important.
And if you want the truth it’s simply a good excuse
For your friends to all get drunk together.
Now I’m sure that you’ll agree,
Your brain starts to atrophy,
Each time that you celebrate your birthday.
Unfortunately I must remind you,
The best part of life’s behind you.
Soon they will throw your final party.
Your teeth will rot, your hair fall out,
And sex will merely refer to gender only.
So raise a glass with me, a toast to senility,
We wish you a Happy Crappy Birthday!